EU didn't like zero-10? Nor did Guerns...

Cher Eugene,

I told you about those two reports on Guernsey's government, mon vieux? And how both of them said the States was in a right mess, eh?

Well, they're in an even bigger mess now, them.

They've been told by the European Union that they're not allowed to have their zero-10 tax policy, eh?

You know me, Eugene, I don't normally hold with this European Union interfering in Guernsey's affairs, but this time I'm not so sure, me.

After all, the States told us the zero-10 would attract the banks and businesses and make the island prosperous, but there's still finance houses closing down and people being laid off.

All that's happened is the island's lost millions of pounds in a couple of years, and we've had to pay higher taxes because of it.

I don't know about not being acceptable to the European Union, mon vieux, it's been no bloney good for the Guernseyman, eh?

Now the States have got to review the whole of their financial planning, in just a few months. Hang, I don't see how they'll do that, mon vieux, when it took them 18 years to decide on an incinerator.

And that audit office said one of the main problems with the States is they can't make decisions, eh?

And here's a funny thing, do you remember, when that bank went bust and we suddenly had that banking crisis, the chief minister, he was out of the island, him?

Well, as soon as this zero-10 problem occurred he was off on another trip, to the Far East this time.

He said it was to promote Guernsey as a finance centre.

But how he can do that when he can't even tell them what the tax levels are?

It's like trying to sell someone a boat when you don't know how big it is or what engine it's got, eh?

There's been talk about making the companies pay 10% tax instead of 0%, so I suppose at least the black hole won't be so big.

I said to Jack Torode, our rates bills and everything else went up pretty quick to fill the black hole, but I bet they don't come down so fast, eh?

And the States still haven't managed to cut back on their expenditure, Eugene.

I mean, there's the HSSD, they've built a new clinical block to the PEH, at a cost of £36m., eh? And that health minister, he's all pleased, him, because it came in on budget.

But now he's saying he needs £150,000 extra to pay for cleaners and porters to work there.

How can you plan a multi-million pound extension like that, and forget you have to staff it and keep it clean, eh?

It must be easy to complete something on budget if the budget figures don't include all the costs in the first place, eh?

And I know I've said it before, Eugene, but the States could save a lot of money on that Office of Utility Regulation.

I don't really know what it's for, me. It seems to be an English idea for getting someone else to make decisions about essential services instead of the States doing it.

The regulator even wants to put competition in against the post office now.

But most people think the post is working all right, and it even makes some money for the States, so I don't see there's a problem, me.

And the trouble is, it could end up like the shops and everything else, with English firms taking over and more of the typical Guernsey way being lost.

Like Jack says, how will an outside firm know that Mrs Goupillot doesn't have a sign to her house, but she lives behind Mrs Tostevin, where the sweet shop used to be, and she

never uses her front door so the letters have to go round the back, eh?

The Guernsey Post is saying if foreign companies come in, they will only want to do the bits that make a profit, so they'll be left with the letter deliveries which don't make money.

That means they'll end up making a loss and have to ask the States for a subsidy, so what's the point of it all, eh?

When you think, if there's lots of companies all competing it could end up like these cheap airlines, mon vieux.

They advertise fares that are cheaper than everyone else, but by the time you add on the taxes and booking costs, and take a suitcase with you, and pay by card, it's nothing like the price they said, eh?

A new postal company could say they've got a cheaper price for a stamp, but that's no good if you have to pay extra if you want to attach an envelope to it. And extra still if you want it delivered to your letter box, eh?

I don't know why these people think that what happens in England will suit Guernsey, mon vieux.

Jack said there's a new MOH now, and he wants to stop 14-year-old youngsters riding scooters because there's more people having accidents at that age and they don't do it in the UK.

But the dealers, they say it's because they're new to the roads, and if they had to wait until they were 17 years old, there would just be more accidents then instead.

Do you remember old Mr Gabriel saying how there used to be accidents to the bottom of the Rohais, when he used to race his donkey cart down the hill with his mates? Mind you, I don't know how old he was then, eh?

And if you ask me, it's easier to tell a 14-year old what to do than it is when they're 17, that's for sure. Caw, it only gets worse as they get older, eh, mon vieux?

Jack said that's true. After all, most States members are a lot older, and they won't be told, eh?

Well, they won't be told by the Guernseyman who elects them, Eugene. But if it's the European Union they soon sit up and take notice, eh?

A la perchoine,

Your cousin Emile