Herm School has the X-mas Factor

THERE wasn't much room at the inn as the Herm children performed their Nativity to a large audience in the Mermaid Tavern.

With St Tugual's Chapel out of action due to repairs being made on the roof, there weren't many alternatives. But the lure of a warm fire as opposed to the usual draughty church drew the crowd to the pub for the festive performance.

As usual, there are not enough children of appropriate ages and genders for a traditional nativity, even more so this year as there are only seven in the school at the moment. So a little creative thinking and artistic licence is acceptable.

Teacher Mary Carey is always up to the challenge when it comes to finding a fun and different way to tell the Christmas story while retaining the basic elements and characters.

First up were the pre-schoolers, of whom there are many this year. They all wore white and sparkly stars and sang Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star to get us warmed up for their older brothers and sisters in the main show.

Titled The X-mas Factor, the concert was reset in a modern-day X Factor-type situation. This also created a good excuse to rewrite well-known pop songs to make them relevant. In fact, singing and dancing was such a large part of this concert, it could have been subtitled Nativity: The Musical.

Mary and Joseph were visited by two angels, Madonna ('Mary the virgin, you're gonna have God's son') and Cher ('Do you believe in God's holy love?').

They made their way to Bethlehem, where they encountered the innkeeper Amy Winehouse ('You say you want a room in my inn, but I say no, no, no'), and enjoyed a rendition of 'Angels' and 'Let Me Herd and Count You' from shepherd Robbie Williams. The three kings were represented by the Three Degrees. There was actually only One Degree (but you get the idea), who sang 'Take Good Care of Yourself' to the newborn baby Jesus.

At the end, the children joined together to sing 'Do They Know It's Christmas?', complete with passionate solo lines, in a bid to make us cry. They succeeded.

For many, this is the best part of winter. Now the term is ending - and line-reading, panics over wigs and dress rehearsals are over - Christmas is really here.