Man Club – a place to talk or simply listen
MEN who are struggling with life for whatever reason, particularly at this time of year when everyone is in high spirits, are being reminded that there is somewhere they can go and talk about their problems in a non-judgemental environment.
Man Club was set up a few years ago to provide a place where men can meet and talk about issues that worry them.
The meetings are hosted by facilitators, one of whom, Ben Rowe, went along initially when he had problems of his own to share.
He has been going for five years or so, having started when he was 20.
He went on to attend several meetings in a row acting as facilitator, although at other times he said he had not gone for several months.
Now he will often attend just to listen.
The group meets every two weeks but the numbers attending goes up and down frequently, he said. ‘You have a lot who come to maybe one meeting. Sometimes they just come and say how they’re feeling and what’s going on for them.
‘We’ve had meetings with upwards of 20 people, and some with five.’
The time of year plays a role in attendance. ‘You definitely notice that in the winter people are struggling more,’ he said.
The group has seen a wide range of ages, with the youngest Mr Rowe is aware of being 18, and the oldest nearly 80.
Attendees come from all walks of life to talk about any subject that is giving them problems. Money concerns, work, relationships, addictions and PTSD have all come up.
‘But it’s not always problems,’ said Mr Rowe. ‘Sometimes people come to update us on where they are now.’
Nobody gives advice, although feedback is given if someone wants it. Otherwise someone can talk and be listened to in a non-judgemental environment.
The group uses a tradition borrowed from Native Americans in the form of a talking stick. When someone with the stick is talking, they cannot be interrupted.
Those who go along are not obliged to say anything, and what is said is held in strict confidence.
There are no therapists or clinicians involved, but the group receives advice and oversight as an organisation from a qualified psychotherapist.
Mr Rowe said that if someone had a serious issue, or maybe expressed a wish to take their own life, they would be referred to professional help.
Although attendees undertake not to approach each other uninvited in public, Mr Rowe said many people form bonds.
‘I’ve made so many friends. And it’s friends who understand, and who you can just go and speak to and you know you’re going to be listened to.’
Meetings usually take place every other Monday at the Vale Rec clubhouse. They last about two hours but people are free to leave at any time.
The group is a registered charity which is supported by donations but no charge is made for attendance to make sure there are no barriers to attendance.
This week’s meeting is on Tuesday 27 December at 7pm and any man who would like to attend is asked to make contact with the group via its Facebook page first, to help organisers get an idea of numbers.
