OPINION: Why this relationship is on the rocks

YOU know your relationship is on the rocks when you start arguing about the little things – a pair of socks on the landing, which film to watch this evening or dirty pots in the sink. When you can’t bear the colour of your partner’s new jumper, it’s probably time to have a rethink.

Facebook lit up with comments the other day both vehemently against and enthusiastically for a new bike rack near the Sunken Gardens. I quite like it, but then I’m a fan of all things colourful and am very much in favour of making cyclists’ lives easier (not that I am brave enough to cycle to Town myself).

Complaints related to the colour, shape (it is shaped like a car, presumably to illustrate just how many more bikes can be parked in the space one car takes up) and, most importantly, the assumed cost of the item. Many of those commenting clearly felt that the States had not used their money wisely and were aggrieved that this kind of decision could go ahead without public input. My own views notwithstanding, I get it.

In the context of the States, this is the equivalent of blowing a gasket when your partner puts the dishwasher on when it isn’t full. It seems irrelevant in the grand scheme of things yet it is symptomatic of something much more serious that requires urgent attention.

The relationship disharmony between islanders and the States has been further exacerbated since the announcement that we are now, in one way or another, buying part of a ship. I know nothing about the process of buying one but presume, given its size and the amounts of money involved, that it takes time to organise such a purchase and that many people are involved.

Good, reliable transport links are critical, not only to the quality of life on our island, but also to our future economic growth. Growth that we so desperately need. We all get that. What many of us do not understand is why this process was so hurried and what exactly is going on. We don’t understand why Jersey is not involved, nor why we needed to pay so much and so quickly. We worry about whether this will positively impact travel to and from Guernsey or whether we will see little to no improvement. We also worry that all options might not have been fully considered. It is assumed that there is a rational and costed plan behind all of this but those of us not directly involved cannot know for certain.

This purchase comes on the back of a taxation debate which divided the population, pitting friends against one another and inadvertently using up weeks of critical governing time with no firm conclusions. I think it’s fair to say that our deputies are as frustrated as we are that we don’t yet have a plan. It threw up some interesting questions and has hopefully led to some practical next steps to resolve the situation, but much remains unclear. Intentions are not in question here, they are clearly good, but the lack of collaboration and consultation is gradually chipping away at islanders’ confidence that their needs are being reasonably considered and their tax contributions reasonably allocated.

It is clear from the reactions to both the bike rack and ferry purchase that islanders have firmly taken on board the need for cost savings and prudent expenditure and they are understandably frustrated that deputies don’t seem to be singing from their own hymn sheet. The thing is, this can be so easily resolved.

Going back to my relationship analogy, if you continue to ignore your partner’s frustrations, focusing only on your own and determining that only you know the best way to resolve it, there will, at some stage, be no way back. A partnership which may well have strong foundations and common goals, breaks apart with very unpleasant and expensive consequences. If you instead sit down and talk through your disagreements, it is usually possible to work out the root cause and work together to fix this, or else part ways amicably, minus the drama.

The States has succeeded in uniting the population in the belief that expenditure needs to be carefully managed and growth carefully nurtured, albeit we all have different views as to how this can be achieved. We have the common goals and values critical to making a relationship work. Collectively, we clearly have the desire to sit down and discuss the best way forward, yet the States is currently excluding islanders from key decisions and not trusting them with the details and other options considered.

A leadership team does not need to have all the answers and strength in leadership comes from seeking input from all sources before making big decisions. It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help. It is a sign of strength to admit that you don’t know everything and that you want to gather information to make better choices. Everyone wants to feel included, no matter how small their contribution. By involving more of us in decision-making, the decisions are less likely to be challenged and more likely to be supported. There is also a very strong chance that better decisions are made over the long-term.

Leading is a great responsibility, whether you are leading an island, a school, a company, a charity, a sports team or a family. The pressure can be intense and at times overwhelming. Just because those you are leading have not opted to join the management committee, does not mean they do not have great ideas you could use. Using external input also dilutes the pressure for those in charge and actually makes it easier to move forward with less resistance and more confidence.

Having run my own small company for 15 years, I can testify that some of the most important decisions I have taken were not my ideas but rather those of my team. Those suggestions were free of my own prejudices of what might or might not work and free of my own experiences while building the business and my fears for its future. Those ideas have strengthened the company and built my confidence to take advice when considering similar decisions in the future. For example, when I was critically ill some years ago, all I wanted to do was sell my business. I could not imagine dealing with that responsibility going forward and my outlook was bleak at the time. I was persuaded by my colleagues not to and although going down this path was not without difficulties, it was certainly the best decision longer term. As leaders, we cannot always have all the answers and as members of ‘Team Guernsey’, we know more than we think.

If you want a relationship to last, it is not only vital to pay attention to those little (and 400ft) niggles, which can reveal deeper rifts, but also important to remember that your other half might have something to contribute too.