‘I felt happy, scared and overwhelmed’

What are your memories of Father’s Day growing up? Did you have any annual traditions at home?

I remember my mum always saying to me and my brother in the build-up, ‘be nice to your dad this Sunday, it’s Father’s Day’. He’d always have a lie-in and breakfast in bed was a thing.

As your friends started to become parents and you observed their lives and how they parented, did you start to have an idea about how you thought it would feel to be a father?

I was probably the last of my really close friends to become a parent so I kind of knew the drill. I remember being down the pub one Saturday when my mate said, ‘right lads, gotta get home for the babysitter, see you later’. At the time I could never imagine doing that myself, just as the night was getting warmed up. I’d then see that same friend the following day at the park playing football with his kid and think, ‘how cool is that?’.

Can you remember the first moment you found out you were going to be a father? How did that feel?

I can, and a whole mix of emotions. My wife and I were on holiday in Tenerife and during the whole trip she didn’t feel at all well. She’d normally battle through but we ended up staying in the apartment most of the holiday as she felt so unwell. The doctors there said she either had pneumonia or was pregnant. Of course it had to be pneumonia – or so we thought.

On our return to Guernsey she went to the local doctor to get checked out. She came back and shouted up the stairs ‘are you sitting down?’ She told me the great news and we both ‘had a moment’ and realised our lives were about to change. I felt happy, scared and overwhelmed all in that single moment of finding out.

How did you find the pre-baby preparation period?

I think new parents-to-be always ‘over buy’ things in preparation, as we did, but the important thing for us was having both sets of our parents to help and advise. I think the strangest thing was saying, ‘this is the last time we’ll do this as just us two’, on various occasions. I think that’s when it really sinks in, imagining what life is going to be like.

Can you describe to us the moment that your baby girl was born and you finally got to hold her in your arms, meeting her for the first time?

Just incredible, hard to describe but a whole rush of emotion. I can remember feeling this whole load of extra love pour out of me that I never knew was there. It just jumps out of you. I was so proud of my wife Louise too... us men have it easy.

How did you choose Scarlett’s name?

We knew she was a girl from 20 weeks so we had the narrowed-down advantage. We both had a favourite – Louise wanted Isla and I wanted Ella. Louise was adamant she should have the final say after carrying her for nine months.

Anyway, Scarlett was a name that kept cropping up and was the only name we both liked so we decided on that. When she arrived and we met her for the first time, we looked at each other and said ‘definitely a Scarlett!’

Do you feel that parenthood has changed your perspective?

I’m much more emotional than I used to be. Becoming a parent makes you think about the future a whole lot more, I think. It’s made me appreciate what my parents went through when I was growing up. It’s definitely made me a better person.

What advice would you give to fathers-to-be?

Embrace it and enjoy it. It’s a life-changer, but a good one. You can never be fully prepared for it but that’s OK. I worried about so much before Scarlett was born but it all seems to click into place somehow. In the very early days I was scared I wasn’t good enough to be a dad, but you soon adapt and naturally grow into parenthood. I’ve done things I never thought I could do. It can be tough but very rewarding (P.S. get lots of sleep in now while you can).

What advice would you give to dads who have been on this journey for a few years now?

Keep doing what you’re doing. There’s no handbook, we are all learning as we go. Be there as much as you can, as it goes quickly, and try to accept that there will be ups and downs. It’s all part of the journey.