Mother-of-three speaks of domestic abuse ordeal in bid to help others

A domestic violence survivor who helped convict her former partner after his abuse left her feeling she “wanted to die” has urged women in similarly destructive relationships to contact police and bring the perpetrators to justice.

Hannah Martin, 32, was repeatedly assaulted by then-boyfriend Hayden Wykes during their 18-month relationship. He also claimed she was an unfit mother, made derogatory comments about her appearance, and went through her phone as part of his controlling behaviour.

He was subsequently arrested and was jailed for nearly four years last month after pleading guilty to assaults and the relatively new offence of controlling and coercive behaviour.

Mrs Martin, a mother-of-three, said she felt compelled to speak publicly about her ordeal in the hope it will give others the courage to contact police.

Recalling the moment she decided to phone the police, she told the PA news agency: “I thought this is a huge risk for me to take, but I’ve got to take the chance.

“I feel really empowered now… and I’m not scared of him any more.

“It just proves that it can be done. Because, trust me, in that moment (the final assault), I wanted to die.

“And for the first time in a long time now, I don’t want to die, and I’m excited for the rest of my life.”

But he soon became abusive, prompting her to stop meeting up with friends because she feared she was “too ugly or too fat”. She also lied to family members in a bid to explain away her injuries.

Wykes was initially arrested after neighbours became concerned about a domestic incident several months into the relationship.

But the pair rekindled their romance when he was released on bail, unbeknown to the police, and the violence started again.

Mrs Martin said she had a “trauma bond” with Wykes, meaning she sought out his company again despite knowing how his behaviour affected her.

“I was so lonely and I genuinely missed him,” she said. “All I remembered was all the good times because when an abuser is lovely, they’re lovely.

“And then slowly, day by day, they’ll start nit-picking little bits after a little bit, and then there’ll be a big scenario, and then the cycle starts again.”

Mrs Martin said Wykes made her believe she was responsible for his violent episodes, and each time promised it would not happen again.

Mrs Martin said: “This is why it’s so hard to get away because you feel like you’re in love with them, you can’t breathe without them.

“But I would have died if I stayed with him.”

Wykes was arrested at work the following day.

Mrs Martin was then able to hand over months’ worth of evidence against him after documenting the abuse she suffered in text messages sent to her friend, which Mrs Martin swiftly deleted from her phone for fear of Wykes finding them.

“I don’t know what I would have done without her (Pc Anderson)”, Mrs Martin said. “I feel like she’s honestly saved my life.”

“My life’s completely turned around.”

Pc Anderson, 33, praised Mrs Martin for her bravery, and said she hoped her story would inspire others to contact the police.

She said: “I know it’s a scary process. And I know it’s a really big step, to come forward to the police or to any agency and report domestic violence, especially in instances of controlling and coercive behaviour.

“But what I would say to people is, if you come forward to us, you will be believed, we will do everything we can to gain your trust and show you that we’re here to help.”

And she urged people to be on the lookout and act if they have concerns that a family member, friend or colleague might be trapped in an abusive relationship.

“People say domestic abuse is almost a taboo subject, but it’s not,” she said.

“We need to break down those barriers.

“And if you see something and you don’t feel it’s quite right, or you’ve got concerns, just have that conversation with somebody, because that could be the starting point.”

– The free National Domestic Abuse Helpline is on 0808 2000 247