Count Binface: I will rename London Bridge and have never heard of Susan Hall
The self-described intergalactic space warrior is running to be London mayor for the second time on May 2.
London mayoral candidate Count Binface says he would rename London Bridge, make Thames Water bosses “take a dip” in the river and claims he has never heard of his Tory opponent Susan Hall.
The self-described intergalactic space warrior, who says he is 5,072 years old in Earth years, is running to be London mayor on May 2 and says he has not ruled out standing against Rishi Sunak at the general election.
Speaking outside Parliament, the Count outlined his flagship policies for the capital including renaming London Bridge after Phoebe Waller-Bridge, price capping croissants at £1.10, and granting grade one listed status to Claudia Winkleman’s fringe.
The Count, who previously ran to be mayor in 2021, described his pledges as “the freshest thing on the menu” and that he was “the only candidate with a decent manifesto”.
When asked for his opinion on his Tory rival, Susan Hall, the caped politician said: “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“If I have, it went straight out of one auditory organ and right out of the other one because nobody of that name has had any impact on me whatsoever.
“I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”
The Count went on to say that incumbent mayor Sadiq Khan had done a “decent job”.
He continued: “Unlike the two previous incumbents, Ken Livingstone and Boris ‘The Bombshell’ Johnson, Sadiq Khan is not yet a laughing stock figure – so fair play on that front.”
On whether he has plans to stand at the general election, Binface told the PA news agency: “Let’s just say the general election when it comes, and it can’t come soon enough, I think the United Kingdom is ready.
“They are very ready to do to the Tories what everyone knows is going to happen to the Tories, and to have a ringside seat at that moment would be an intergalactic pleasure of mine.
“So if I’m in your planetary system at that point, I might just take a shot.”
The Count continued to say that although he had not yet decided which constituency he would stand in, Prime Minister Rishi Sunak’s seat in Richmond, North Yorkshire, “does look a tiny bit on the tempting side”.
After encountering Tommy Robinson on College Green in Westminster on Tuesday afternoon, Count Binface was seen making rude gestures towards the former leader of the English Defence League.
When asked for his opinion on Mr Robinson, Binface said: “I fight policies, not the people.”
He continued: “More seriously, what I am here for is to defend and celebrate British democracy and the truth of the matter is there are forces both within and outside the United Kingdom that would like to see democracy crumble.”
The Count went on to name issues including introducing in compulsory photo ID for voters in elections and changing the London mayoral election voting system “without informing the electorate” as things he believes are “degrading democracy”.
Binface’s other manifesto pledges include to build at least one affordable house, loud snacks to be banned from theatres and, most recently, a nationwide ban on VAR in football matches.
In the 2021 London mayoral election, the Count received 24,775 first choice votes and a further 68,121 second choice votes.
He stood against former prime minister Boris Johnson in Uxbridge and South Ruislip in the 2019 general election and placed seventh, below his rival Lord Buckethead of the Monster Raving Loony Party, with 69 votes.
