5 things you can name after your ex this Valentine’s Day

For anyone harbouring a grudge against an ex, there are a wealth of ways to express your feelings this Valentine’s Day.

While doing physical harm to a former significant other is generally frowned upon, there’s nothing to stop you giving their name to a hapless insect, for example, and tossing it to a hungry animal before letting nature take its course.

Here are some of the other vengeful things you can do in your ex’s name on February 14.

1. A cockroach

You can then watch live on Facebook as keepers feed your ex’s creepy crawly namesake to a meerkat. Simples.

2. A salmon

For around £15 you can pay to give a salmon your ex’s name and then watch as it’s tossed to a hungry bear by staff at Oregon’s Wildlife Images Rehabilitation & Education Centre.

3. A worm

“For that truly terrible ex, make a $5 donation and name a hornworm after your ex and watch that horned devil be devoured,” the centre wrote in a Facebook post.

“​Your worthless ex can finally do something nice – their namesake helping us to feed the animals in our care.”

4. A snake

That offer comes courtesy of Wild Life Sydney Zoo, and to add a bit spice the reptile in question is a deadly venomous brown snake.

5. A cupcake

As well as a delicious sweet snack with your ex’s name on it, this Heart Broken gift set from Mr Cupcakes also comes with a gold-plated chocolate hammer with which to exact some sweet, cathartic revenge. Smashing!