A plea for awareness and sensitivity

When you encounter people all you have is a glimpse of them. You do not know their life story, domestic situation, health, mental wellbeing, finances, worries or challenges. However, many people make judgments based on stereotypes or ‘what they think the situation is’ and do not hold back from expressing these in their words and actions.

The pandemic highlighted how precarious everyone’s own situation is – employment, finances, isolation, mental and physical health. People could suddenly be in a very different situation. The ‘Guernsey Together’ theme was adopted, with focus on making sure everyone was OK and where help could be sought. Unfortunately some (and only some) individuals and organisations only seem to have applied this when it was affecting everyone or only for lockdown-related situations.

Guernsey is a relatively wealthy jurisdiction but is also an expensive place to live (eg housing, groceries, social activities). Not all residents are wealthy, and some need support physically, mentally or financially. Some people faced difficulties before the pandemic and continue to experience this.

There will always be those few individuals who try to ‘play the system’, but the overwhelming majority will go without essential things for far too long and only ask for help (physical, mental or financial) as a last resort. They are not asking for luxuries or assume entitlement. Culturally, people asking for help can be portrayed as scroungers, lazy, not managing their money and wanting/having luxury lifestyles.

To actually ask for help, whether it is a lift, groceries or just a chat – individuals are often embarrassed, don’t feel entitled to ask, feel judged and feel guilty that they cannot do it themselves. Often, there is no expectation of something being given outright, sometimes offering to receive less or to repay over time, or give plenty of options for others to say no. The gratitude for help is almost palpable and this is certainly not the action of scroungers.

One example was that an individual (who is employed but earns insufficiently to live on) had gone to the Guernsey Welfare Service and received a £20 electricity voucher. This was taken to be cashed in and they were asked for photo ID which they did not have. They had other ID, knew the person in the shop and had exchanged vouchers on previous occasions without being asked for this. The assistant said they would have to keep the voucher and return it to Guernsey Welfare because they couldn’t prove that it belonged to this person, which in itself causes panic of not having electricity. During this encounter nobody else was being served, so 15-20 customers witnessed it all and were getting impatient. Eventually, the assistant said they would do it this time ‘but let that be a lesson to you’.

Having kept calm and retaining their dignity in the shop, feeling absolutely mortified, this person absolutely broke down after leaving. They felt embarrassed, judged and angry. The emotional impact has continued.

The requirement to show ID is perfectly acceptable. The issue is the fact that this all occurred in front of a large number of shoppers and the attitude of the assistant involved. There was no sensitivity towards the person nor privacy – it certainly didn’t give them any dignity. It publicly exposed that this person’s personal circumstances meant that they had received welfare to those who witnessed it and anyone else those people commented to (being a small community). If there was an issue, it could have been discreetly discussed in private and without the disrespectful attitude.

When someone has financial struggles, they already have the daily balancing act of what they can afford and the emotional toll that takes. They are likely to be going without or making do with inadequate things. It affects everything – buying groceries, bus fares or justifying £5 to attend an event. Sometimes, costs can be waived for those unable to afford it, but then it feels like you are always asking and there is embarrassment too. Sometimes if you say you don’t have the money, people presume you mean ‘in cash’ and reply that you can use a card. In non-financial matters (e.g. lifts or other support), people misunderstand too. Sometimes people say that ‘you only need to ask’, without understanding just how hard that is.

This shows an example of a lack of awareness, sensitivity and understanding. In the main, people only ask for help when they have no other options. There is also often judgment, whether implied or outwardly visible. People needing help already face many challenges and whatever their situation, it means that they feel ‘they are always asking’. All of these things impact on mental wellbeing and self-esteem, but not having basic needs met can also impact on physical health.

On a positive note, there are many individuals, businesses and charities who do an amazing job, including an army of volunteers and many who donate to charities. This covers so much that I cannot list them. Sometimes, people will need to provide documents, quotes or other proofs – and nobody has a problem with doing that. There is immense gratitude when there is an essential need and someone has clearly understood, not judged and stepped in to help. It isn’t just big support needs nor financial matters, but so much is down to that true understanding and compassion.

It really does make a life-changing difference.

Statistics show that very high levels of the first world population are only living financially month to month. The pandemic highlighted just how precarious this could be for any one of us. How would you feel if you could not provide for your family? If you had no electricity? If you needed non-financial support?

Instead of judging someone who is in need, especially when you do not know their circumstances, consider how you would feel if it was you and how you would want others to treat you. Sensitivity, awareness and understanding truly makes an incredible difference and was behind the ‘Guernsey Together’ theme.

Let’s continue to look out for each other and treat each other with respect

MICHAEL ELLIS