Opinion: Lessons from Blackadder

‘At last, we can return to sanity. The mad hysteria is at an end. After the chaos of a general election, we can return to normal.’

These are not the words of any great leader or commentator but those of Edmund Blackadder, everyone’s TV favourite bad guy in the 1980s. So begins the third series of the popular historical sitcom, Blackadder, with a reminder of just what elections are like, as it is very easy to forget.

It was 1987 in the real world when this first aired and this sitcom, starring Rowan Atkinson and co-written by Love Actually and Four Weddings and a Funeral creator Richard Curtis and comedian/writer Ben Elton, had moved into the late 18th century by this episode.

This story follows the ‘reign’ of the Prince Regent (Prince of Wales) or George IV as he would later be known. In real life, the prince had indeed stepped in during this period to cover for his father, George III, who became incapacitated because of a deterioration of his mental health. He later recovered.

Although thankfully entirely fictional, this TV episode mirrors the reality of the late 1700s in its portrayal of dodgy elections and a Prince of Wales happy to spend, spend, spend, much to the displeasure of parliament and the people. The fictional prince had spent £15,000 on banqueting, £20,000 on perfume and £59,000 on socks. I am not suggesting that Guernsey is in the business of excess sockpiling (sorry, I couldn’t resist) but there are many who believe we are also spending money in all the wrong places and too much of it at that.

The real prince spent money on similar things and his health suffered greatly in later years as a result and he was heavily criticised but he was also responsible for investing in some beautiful London architecture, so he wasn’t all bad.

Back to TV – as parliament considers what to do about the prince’s out-of- control spending, Pitt the Younger, the Prime Minister at the time, threatens to remove the prince from the civil list and take away his fortune and panic ensues. Blackadder is a wily butler who takes advantage of the prince at every opportunity and a loss of this nature just would not do, so he springs into action.

To ensure the prince keeps his power and fortune, he tries to buy the vote of the one swing-voting member of parliament they need but the MP rather unfortunately drops dead at their first meeting, cue a by-election in a rotten borough. Rotten boroughs were of course a common thing in those times – a landowner would own the land and control the voters and the MPs so democracy did not get a look in.

To cut a long and very funny episode short and save something for you to enjoy when you hunt it out on YouTube, they buy the borough and manage to get the person they want to get elected, but this new member of parliament accidentally does not do what they wanted him to do after all. He votes against the prince and they are back at the start again. A lot of effort wasted.

Voting in a new set of deputies, or even (if it were possible or ethical) brainwashing everyone currently in the Assembly to vote a certain way, just won’t work, at least not in any meaningful way and not for very long. I am not saying new faces and true consensus are not welcome, just that there is much more to it than changing our team of representatives. Will new deputies be listened to when they arrive or will they be told that it can’t be done differently so new ideas are unwelcome?

We could be forgiven as voters for being more than a little frustrated right now. We have reached an impasse. Not only can our current Assembly not reach consensus on a way forward, but it seems likely now that the next few months will be spent arguing about what to do about it, by which time the election will have rolled around anyway and we will start all over again. Meanwhile, our problems get worse, we lose not only those islanders who have grown up here but also those who try to settle here and find the pace of change so slow and the barriers so significant that they head home again.

I would describe myself as political, an activist even – I am never shy about making my opinions known – but even I have been reluctantly pulled into a state of apathy in recent months. I honestly can’t take much more of it. Like many, I’ve submitted suggestions to both the recent calls for input by the States, yet seen none of the output and feel hugely disheartened by this and I am sure I am not alone. There is so much desire to move things forward among voters and it just does not seem to be reflected in the actions of the States.

We keep doing the same things and, unsurprisingly, we are getting the same results. It’s not a lack of experience at fault – many deputies have been in their roles, on and off, for many years and others might be new this term but started with a wealth of business or other useful experience. The average age of our deputies is over 50. They know a thing or two. It’s also not a lack of love for the island – I don’t doubt for a second that every single person elected in 2020 believes in a better future for Guernsey and those who live here. It’s not incompetence either – I’ve seen and heard far too many considered arguments to buy that as an excuse.

It is so easy to believe that an early election will unlock the current deadlock but we should be careful what we wish for.

It would be nice to think that it is merely a question of voting in the magic deputy or two who will fix everything. We do indeed need a more diverse Assembly and some fresh faces at this time would be good – and the sooner the better in my view. However, this would only be the beginning of a solution and without a change in the mindset of those in charge from fear of change to faith in our population’s skill- set, nothing will improve.

We need to shift from ‘this is how we have always done it’ to ‘how could we do it better?’. Making incremental changes to systems that are just not working for us anymore is not getting us anywhere and never will. We need to start from scratch, we should ask what would we do if we were building the infrastructure we need exactly how we want it from the beginning? Then – and only then, when we have our ideal – should we consider how to best adapt what we have to most closely resemble that.

I’ve talked before in this column about our lack of ambition and it has never been more urgent for us to get back our confidence and get on with creating something we can be proud of. This Assembly can turn this around but they need to be courageous and truly challenge each other to do something they have not done before.

Blackadder’s attempts (spoiler alert) at engineering the policy change he wanted using political manipulation did not go well. All he ended up with was a giant turnip. Let that be a lesson to us.