Law must not add to pain of divorce

The pain of a failed relationship, a lost love and an uncertain future can be traumatic not just for the unhappy couple but their children, family and friends.

Proposals to make the process of divorce easier will not erase that misery. Where it can, however, society should avoid adding to the anguish.

Dickensian laws which decree that someone must be shown to be ‘at fault’ for a divorce should be cast aside and updated to reflect a more caring society which recognises that, in the long run, finger pointing, resentment and point-scoring do neither the couple nor any associated party any good.

If there are children it is likely that the couple will need to retain some form of relationship after the split, agreeing to access rights and financial settlements.

Forcing one party to take the blame or, worse, labelling them an adulterer in court, leads to resentment and bitterness that may never go away.

Likewise, allowing either party to block or delay the divorce out of spite and a desire to spoil their chances of forming a new bond with a different partner is not healthy.

An unhappy couple who stay together simply because the law makes it difficult to part are unlikely to be reconciled. Instead, they may feel trapped in a loveless bond and resent their other half all the more for that.

Proposals by Policy & Resources to simplify the law, speed up proceedings, make it cheaper and reduce the need to play the blame game will benefit countless couples and their families over the coming years.

Far from undermining the institution of marriage, as a minority of islanders fear, these proposals will enable unhappy couples to make considered choices about their relationships.

By doing so they will lose some of the anger, bitterness and long-lasting damage caused by an outdated and heartless legal system.

Society now understands the dangers of domestic abuse and childhood trauma connected to loveless marriages.

It is in everybody’s interests that those who remain in wedlock do so out of love, not because they have little choice.