Bring Me Sunshine

IT WAS really only this century that we started seeing the word ‘meme’ being used. But in reality, memes have existed in one form or another for centuries.

The memes I grew up with tended to emphasise facing adversity with a smile.

The Tommies from the beaches of Dunkirk leaning out of train windows to get cigarettes and sandwiches were smiling. A photo of bombed-out shops in the Blitz showed hand-written signs saying ‘Open as Usual’.

Every black and white war film on the telly, telling us about life on the Home Front, was upbeat and positive despite the rationing and the horrors of war and, of course, there were no problems that a cup of tea couldn’t make better.

What we didn’t have then of course was the internet. If the internet had been in place then, the positive messages put out by government would have been countered by the musings of countless Jeremiahs, full of woe and intent on making everyone else feel it wasn’t worth going on.

The Jeremiahs existed, but their audiences were small groups on street corners or in the public bars.

When some malingerer at Loafers Wall was spouting on about how we were all doomed, we remembered plucky little Malta and the bombardment it withstood.

Stoicism was valued then and doctors were not consulted for minor ailments which could be sorted with a bottle of Lucozade. And taking charity from the States was the very last option anyone would ever consider.

I’m not saying life was perfect then – it certainly wasn’t – but the tribulations of life were taken on the chin.

Many of what we consider, today, the basic essentials would have been considered luxuries back then and unobtainable for the vast majority.

Today, we have the double whammy of the government being a perpetual Jeremiah, as well as the Loafers Wall gang being able to spread their message of despondency to an audience of thousands.

All this occurred to me when I received a message from a friend describing our island in 2024.

Apparently, we have a useless government, out of control public servants, a corrupt and violent police force, starving people, lying doctors, sewage-filled seas, crumbling infrastructure, a morally corrupt principal industry, an exodus of locals who can’t take it anymore, inequality, racism, homophobia, transphobia and misogyny in spades and the fear we are about to be overrun by old people.

How did we get to this after once being lauded as the happiest place in the world?

And more importantly, how do we get back to smiling all day long?

The first thing we need is for the States to stop accentuating the negative about everything.

Thankfully we have Lyndon, who spreads sunshine and hope wherever he goes. But he is only one man and the other 37 deputies all channel Private Frazer from Dad’s Army and tell us we are all doomed at every opportunity they get.

Let’s be honest, most of the problems deputies moan about, they and their predecessors had a hand in creating.

The housing problem was caused by the States washing its hands of building States homes. The looming fiscal deficit was caused by the States offering a gold service to an island which realistically can only afford the bronze offering. The education system was totally messed up just as the previous one had started to deliver.

Deputies appear to focus on everything but the lives of the people they serve.

Perhaps they’re too occupied with granting us rights or implementing everything else that the educated, liberal elite – brought in to aid our survival – miss so dearly, that they’re determined to replicate it exactly as it is at ‘home’.

I sometimes wonder if the States deliberately wants to alienate locals who are struggling to live, by offering them cycling contraflows in the North.

Presumably to make accessing the food banks easier?

In life, there are things we need and things we want. If we can afford the things we need and can be content with that, then we will be happy.

The full-time paid deputy, in my opinion, has far too much time on his or her hands to conjure up more devilment with which to torture us.

We need a housing solution. We need a cost-of-living solution. We need a cost-of-healthcare solution. We need an education-system solution. We need a solution to enable locals to make a life in their island. We need a solution to the lack of faith in the upper echelons of the civil service.

Do you think this rump States will solve any of them? No, neither do I.

I recently ran a poll on a local social media site, asking which of our existing deputies they would vote for in the election next year.

If the result is replicated in the actual election, only Gavin St Pier and Heidi Soulsby will get another term.

This could mean that the next election creates an Assembly of newbies, which will be a good thing in potentially rebuilding trust in government, but can also be disastrous in pushing key decisions back as they learn the ropes.

I call on the current Assembly to be ruthless in cutting down workstreams which do not impact solving our major problems.

And for future candidates, I beg you to start shadowing the present incumbents now, because you will have to hit the ground running. It shouldn’t be hard to make the next Assembly the Good News Assembly, given that it will be compared to the current, most miserable Assembly known to God.

It would also help if candidates for next year’s election make themselves known as early as possible, to give us plenty of time to conduct an exhaustive due diligence check on you.

To all single-policy potential candidates, be you green, police cleaneruppers, equality champions or whatever, I say don’t bother thinking about standing for the States.

In closing, I urge you all to join me in putting pessimism to bed.

Let’s make a conscious effort to eliminate the negative and accentuate the positive.

Together, we can cultivate a spirit of optimism that not only enhances our individual lives but also strengthens our community as a whole.

So here’s to a brighter, more optimistic Guernsey – one small win at a time.