Was this climate change summit trip really essential?

How easy it would have been for them to video conference in this day and age, but no, they chose the hard option – a rare breed indeed this lot.

It wouldn’t have mattered if the topic under discussion was the habits of a ‘jonus gollopus’, it was essential that the trip was made.

Of course we can take it as read that they wore the minimum of clothing, ate, drank and kept all manner of waste production to a minimum – and of course held their breath and silence when possible, taking care of the amount of garbage that was disposed of, as well as what was spoken about in the conference.

No doubt the heating was turned off as well, courtesy of JE?

I’m glad and reassured that they took the trouble to travel in electric vehicles, paying scant attention, as all brave ‘green’ travellers do, to the fact that one of the batteries used in their transport of choice would have involved deforesting and excavating some land somewhere, to the tune of about half the size of a football pitch.

Not to worry – they all travel together (again) via electric (of course) to a field, where amongst jolly carbon-expending banter and much energetic back-slapping, they plant trees with spades/shovels, the manufacture and distribution of which would have exceeded the size of the carbon footprint of their whole glorious trip.

How lucky we are to have such caring and responsible members of government.

Long live the billions spent in the name of ‘climate change’ – and all who benefit from it.

MERCER TILL

Address withheld.