Reach out if you need support, especially at Christmas

Christmas for me has affected my mental health both positively and negatively over the years with my many mental health struggles. A lot of my Christmases have been experienced by lots of family breakdowns, bereavements, unpredictable life traumas, resurfacing family traumas, loss of routine, lack of support or overwhelming pressure. Some Christmases I have sometimes only come out of inpatient treatment or been on leave from hospital admissions. Being the people pleaser that I am, as part of my autism caring about others, I often mask with I’m fine, gone with what others had wanted, to make everyone else feel happy and enjoyable about the festive period, not to disappoint others or ruin the festive joy which would have involved burnout, distress and shutdown, causing extreme loneliness and isolation.

With my mental health, Christmas, has often caused increased anxiety, depression, darkened scary thoughts, in the past suicidal thoughts, self-harm relapses, eating disorder relapses, increased loneliness and isolation, be a prisoner trapped in my own mind, often having to say 'I’m fine', showing everyone that I was strong and doing OK.

Fortunately I use Mind groups Samaritans, PAPYRUS Prevention of Young Suicide, Grassroots Suicide Prevention, cousins, friends, family and support of the mental health, medical teams as well as Mind resources, creative outlets like writing music art journaling, writing poetry, Alfie the therapy dog, cuddly toys, playing piano, guitar and singing and being in nature as much as possible. My mum has been my lifeline, as well as my support contact at Mind who I see on a monthly basis, use of my self-care boxes, self-soothe boxes, my safety plan distraction techniques, my meal plan, my safe sensory spaces and fidget toys. I’ve also learned to be patient with myself and be my own best friend.

We need your help to remind people that Christmas can be difficult and encourage everyone to reach out to their loved ones.

Don’t be afraid or ashamed of asking for help, Mind and Samaritans are there, building structure routine plans and self-care is also important and know that it is OK to take time out and space when you need to and most importantly that you matter, you are worthy and you deserve to enjoy Christmas in a way that is right for you and know that you are not alone. There’s help and hope to get you through, believe in yourself, trust yourself, be gentle with yourself and be your own loving best friend, know that people do care and there is support out there.

EMILY NUTTALL