Seafront 'hexperiment' gone awry

First they decide that the harbour is falling to bits so they employs a crowd of 'ighly paid extra managers who know nothin' about boats and ships and tides wot must be costing thousands every yer. They decides that the Trident, wot 'as picked up and set down passengers to the Cambridge Steps for yers and yers without anyone getting drownded, can't do it any more so they 'ave to go over to the inter-island quay. And that creates another problem because those tenders and ships' lifeboats can't use the inter-island quay any more because it's overcrowded with the Trident.

So they sends them over to the Albert Pier but that creates another problem because all those thousands and thousands of visitors 'ave to get across the road to get their coaches for H'island Tours or to wander round the Town looking into shop windows. So the Environment gets their computer to tell them that it will be OK if they narrows the traffic lanes a bit to make it safe and easy for people to walk across. Now hangy, it don't take much brain power to work out that reducing two lanes into one halves the capacity of the road. I don't need a computer, even if I knew 'ow to work one me, to realise that's going to cause disruptions to traffic flows.

And 'ow much did this hexperiment cost? £350,000. Those new managers tells us that they are going to spread the cost over 25 yers but they are paying for it out of this yer's money that they don't 'ave. But, to the Press, they tells us that the money will come from the cruise liners wot 'as to pay £90,000 a yer to anchor. But didn't they 'ave that money anyway? So that means they aren't making anything at all from the cruise liners for the next 'ow many yers so that they can pay for the hexperiment.

But all this creates another problem, because all those thousands of people crossing the roads is causing even more 'old-ups to the traffic so they 'ave to pay off-duty police to man the crossings. Up to £30,000 a yer for that one. You see, it will mean them spending thousands and thousands more to 'ave a complicated traffic light system controlling the 'ole area. So, they'll spend more money that they 'aven't got.

My simple question is, wouldn't it 'ave been better and cheaper to solve the problem with the Inter-Island Quay where the buses could wait to pick people up without them 'aving to cross any roads, rather than shifting the problem somewhere else and creating even bigger problems?

Name and address withheld.