Shakespeare is often quoted as saying the theatre ‘holds a mirror up to nature’, and that is exactly what the Netflix series Adolescence has done, showing us all what is really happening to our young people, right now. But I prefer to reference another iconic cultural image, from Jurassic Park. That moment when the jeep is being chased by the T-Rex and the camera zooms in on the wing mirror. Beneath the terrifying image of the impending monster are the words ‘Objects in the mirror may be closer than they appear’. How true of both T-Rex and the ever-present threat of harmful content online; both are monsters of our own creation.
In Adolescence, 13-year-old Jamie (an astonishing debut from Owen Cooper) is accused and subsequently charged with the murder of a girl from his school. As the series unfolds, the focus isn’t on whodunnit, but on why? Why has this nice, bright kid from an ordinary, loving family committed this horrific crime? What could have been done to prevent it? Jamie’s parents say it best when, in the final episode, they ask each other ‘could we have done more?’ and agree that they could. But this isn’t only on the parents. Of course, parents are the primary care-givers and role models in most children’s lives, but the responsibility for raising our children sits with us all. After all, it takes a village.
According to InternetMatters.org, one of the UK’s leading online safety institutions, the internet is more polarised than ever before. The benefits are bigger and the harms more damaging. This polarisation is everywhere in the world right now: Russia vs Ukraine, rich vs poor, local vs immigrant, men vs women, and this is the backdrop children are growing up against. A world where some of the most powerful men in the world have a public slanging match in the Oval Office, where violence against women and girls is more prevalent than ever, and even in our local opinion pages on social media there is stark division. For a child who is trying to figure out the world and who they are in it, these role models with massive platforms and extreme opinions are showing our children how to be an adult. But what is happening in those private, secret corners of the internet which Adolescence highlighted so well?
The word ‘influencer’ can be applied to anyone with an online platform and following who seeks to alter the lives or opinions of their followers, for better or worse. And while many influencers make a meaningful, positive impact on people’s lives, there are those who encourage divisive, harmful and in some cases extremist opinions and behaviours. All in the name of free speech. The manosphere is one such space. In this space, boys and men are told 80% of all women are attracted to 20% of all men, how to dominate and lead their woman, and that to be single is not a choice – it is a state of involuntary celibacy which has been forced upon them by women who refuse to date them. This is where incel culture gets its name. This is a place where a man’s self-worth and value is reduced to his looks, his money and his perceived strength to hold power over others. And if you don’t have any of those things? Don’t worry, there are numerous online courses, podcasts, websites and chat rooms where you can learn how to be a ‘real man’. These are the influences that led Adolescence’s Jamie to believe himself to be ugly and unworthy of love, ultimately leading to the shocking murder of Katie who called him an incel.
I would argue that while Adolescence gives us an all-too-real insight into the pressures modern life puts on boys and men, there are even wider messages about how we support people of all genders in dealing with the online world. Jamie’s dad – in a career defining performance from Stephen Graham – says how they thought Jamie was ‘safe’ because he was in his room, when in reality he was being bullied, made to feel worthless and then influenced by the worst kind of role model. This can and does happen to children and young people in our island, with an astonishing array of online influences including pornography, hate speech, bullying, grooming, scams, fake news, addictive and aggressive algorithms, violence and extremism all there for them at the tap of a finger.
As a small island, we cannot hope to have massive global impact when up against the tech giants who dominate the online world. But we can make it easier for our children and young people to navigate this environment thoughtfully and without blame. The best way to do this is almost embarrassingly simple – talk. Talk frequently, without judgement. It is the only way to get a real window into your young person’s online lives. This is not a ‘sit down for one big talk’ type of conversation, but rather one that will continue for years, starting before children even pick up a device. Our youngest children learn from watching those closest to them, and parents are the first teachers and most valuable role models. Lead with curiosity and learn to use the apps, games and devices your children are using. Model being open and talking about things you have seen online by sharing and discussing content you find interesting. Use all parental controls and privacy settings on your router, each device and every app. It’s not easy, but it is a vital part of keeping your child safe.
Surely it would be better to ban children under 16 from using social media or smart phones altogether? This seems like a really logical approach, and I believe there is a difference in accessing the internet on a laptop or device in a family space, to secretly scrolling unobserved in a bedroom. The problem with an outright ban is that it will only make these already appealing spaces even more exciting and even more secretive. And if we create a legal ban on under-16s accessing social media, who is responsible when a child inevitably finds a workaround? Who polices it? What should the punishment be? Too many questions that will ultimately end in criminalising children.
How do we move forward, then? I hope that we can all take the series Adolescence as not only an opportunity to raise much needed awareness of online harms, but as a call to action. For the last two years, my colleagues at Guernsey Police and I have been encountering an increasing number of reports which have an element of online harm. Schools’ liaison officer PC Nick Boughay and I have spent thousands of hours delivering lessons, workshops and training events in schools and the wider community to educate around these harms and how best to prevent them. Every school and college is doing all they possibly can to educate and support their students in building digital literacy and resilience skills, and many families are carefully and openly monitoring their children’s online lives. But it is not enough. Because if the awful tragedy which unfolds in Adolescence can happen to a ‘nice, bright boy from a loving family’, it can happen to anyone.
Want to learn more? Visit www.internetmatters.org or www.nspcc.org.uk to learn more about protecting children from online harm.
Join representatives of Bailiwick Law Enforcement, including Laura Simpson, at the first ‘Pact’ - Police and Community Together event on Friday 4 April from 6.30pm at Les Cotils to discuss ways BLE and the community can work together to keep our island and our families safe.
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