Treading water

I LOOKED up the definition of ‘treading water’ online.

‘Maintain an upright position in deep water by moving the feet with a walking movement and the hands with a downward circular motion.’

‘Doing something or being active without making any progress.’

Do you ever feel like you’re treading water? Like you’re so active but feel like you’ve made little progress? That you are maintaining an upright position, appearing calm on the outside but paddling like mad under the calm exterior?

I have never been a swimmer. A cautious paddler at best. I was terrified of the water at a young age and haven’t really improved since.

As a young child at swimming lessons, I would cling to the side of the pool crying my eyes out. The lessons were dreaded, then tolerated. I remember we had to accomplish different swimming tasks and skills to earn a badge or ribbon, which was an incentive to most, but it was a trial to me.

Once, our special task was to come to our swimming lesson fully clothed and tread water for a certain amount of time. We were told this skill was extremely important, especially if we were on a boat and it sank or we fell overboard. Of course, the thought of that scenario only served to crank up my panic meter from an already five to a 10+.

Treading water, I felt panicked, not in control at all, like I was going to drown and that my face was barely breaking the surface of the water. My heart was pounding, my breathing fast, any splash or ripple of water that came my way from my other ‘drowning’ classmates would go up my nose or in my eyes, so then I was choking AND drowning. The chlorine stinging my eyes was an unwelcome addition.

After the essential life skill/PTSD-inducing ordeal, I couldn’t give a monkey’s about the stupid ribbon or badge. I felt like I had just had a near-death experience, was exhausted and looked and felt like a drowned rat.

Treading water in our day to day lives can feel like that too. Like we are using all of our energy just to stay afloat, just to keep our heads above water.

We haven’t budged an inch, we have just stayed thrashing around in the exact same spot, in the exact same position for what feels like an eternity.

We see other people in the pool enthusiastically diving cleanly into the water and effortlessly gliding through, breathing in all the right intervals, all limbs moving gracefully and accomplishing so much with every stroke, with every kick, shooting along at great speed then spinning around at the end and doing it all again. At the end of several lengths, these people magically pop up out of the water, throwing their hair back like some water goddess and with just the strength of their arms pull themselves up onto the side like they are being lifted by unseen angels, then with wet, glistening, perfect bodies saunter off to get changed and face the world.

OK, so that might sound a BIT exaggerated, but isn’t it true that when we observe others and wish things were as easy for us as they seem to be for that person, we get rose-tinted spectacles that show everything about that person and their life as completely and utterly perfect?

On the flip side, you may view yourself as the kind of person who painfully belly flops into the pool with the water smacking you in the face, nearly rendering you unconscious, then you huff and puff as you attempt that length that you are trying to do as gracefully as that ‘other person’ you were watching. It seems to be working, you are moving inch by inch, arms flailing wildly, water shooting up your nose and burning the back of your throat, swimming straight into the wall with a thud, realising that you can’t actually lift yourself out of the pool with just your arms…where are the steps? Why is this so hard? You pull hard then try to lift your leg up and onto the wall. Oops! too far! Now your bottom is up in the air for all to see and you’re almost hanging upside-down as you scrabble across the wall using your legs, and then pull your upper body out of the water. Exhausted, mildly concussed, and looking like a creature out of Star Wars thanks to your hair being stuck like glue to your face, you stagger to the changing room...

It can feel unfair when you’re belly flopping into the water while someone else gracefully dives in. When you’re stuck treading water while someone else achieves length after length. It certainly isn’t easy in that moment to be happy for that other person. Sometimes the ‘sink or swim’ option isn’t that easy when you lack the energy to swim.

Truth be told, that ‘other person’ might have had treading water moments too – you just haven’t seen them. You haven’t seen every single moment that they’ve been in the pool.

You might have a moment coming up in your future (which might be hard to believe right now) where you’re going to dive in and have the energy to swim a length. Also remember there are such things as lifeguards – they are barely noticed when you’re in the pool but they are always there and they won’t let you drown. Even if you feel like you’re going to drown, you won’t – it’s their job to help you if you’re in trouble.

People have different lifelines and lifeguards that they turn to. For some, their lifeline is their faith in God, knowing he is an ever-present help in times of trouble. I have heard others say antidepressants are their lifeline, that they couldn’t function daily without them. Many people speak highly of their friends who have supported them when they struggled to keep their heads above water without help.

Our #Guernsey Together attitude has definitely been an aid for those needing help and support. Facebook pages such as Positivity Guernsey and Guernsey Isolation Support Group, to name just a couple, have shown just how beautiful life can be while everywhere surrounding us seems to be falling apart. When our own lives are falling apart.

I was so touched when strangers put a note through my elderly parents’ door offering help and support and saying they were available for a chat. These people have been lifeguards to those treading water during this time.

If you feel like you’re stuck treading water in a busy pool, surrounded by lots of people doing different strokes, or some who are creating waves around you, you are not alone. There are lifelines available – you may not have noticed them so far, but next time you are fighting for the surface, look around. Guernsey can offer a lot of support.

And if you are currently going through an easier time, where you’re powering along or taking time to sit by the pool and enjoy the view, please take a moment to notice those around you. Please consider becoming a lifeguard or lifeline to somebody. Even a smile can make a lot of difference.

We all react differently to water, we all have different strokes and abilities, but we are all capable of noticing someone in distress.

Remember, no one is doing life better than you. We all have ‘treading water days’ and we all sometimes need a break from the pool and time to relax and recharge.

• Jo Le Page – writing@lepage.co.uk