Tricia Voute: We are nothing but what we make of ourselves

I found myself talking to someone the other day as if I were an existentialist. I was rabbiting on about Sartre and his ideas as if I believed in them. I got quite passionate about it all. But in truth, I’ve never fully signed up to their philosophy.

That said, I do think they have important insights into the human condition and offer practical advice on how to live a meaningful life. They can speak to the religious believer (Kierkegaard) as well as the atheist (Sartre) and so belong to a broad ‘church’.

I’ll put some of their ideas into context.

I’ve only recently returned to Guernsey after my parents’ deaths. I’ve moved into their lovely home and started a new job. Did I expect any of this 18 months ago? No.

What does it tell me? Two things in fact. One is about luck. I was born into a hard-working and well-functioning family. I did nothing to deserve it; I can’t take credit for it or boast about it. It’s the set of cards I was given at birth. Second is randomness. I didn’t expect to find myself working with former pupils – I can’t think of a greater privilege then to have them as colleagues, but I don’t credit for it either. In fact, much of what is good in my life, is not of my doing, which means those who are dealt a harder set of cards don’t merit it either.

In fact, political philosopher Michael Sandel attacks our meritocracy and the arrogance that goes with it. People often congratulate themselves and say, ‘I got where I am through my own efforts’, but this isn’t the whole truth. They didn’t choose their innate abilities or character traits; they were born with them. The tech billionaires wouldn’t have fared so well in another age, and it’s just fact that someone skilled at accountancy will probably make more money than an artist.

Sartre calls this our ‘facticity’. He likens it to finding ourselves on a stage and being told to improvise. We can’t do much about the scenery, but we are free to act as we choose within its limitations.

This means we are responsible for what we do. True, the world is unpredictable, and things can go wrong, but it doesn’t steal from us the duty to create the best and most authentic life we can. Ask any card player. You might be dealt a poor hand, but you can still play and win.

Except, what does it mean to ‘win’? If you’re sitting at a poker table, it’s obvious, but it’s not so clear when we talk about the game of life. What would that entail? Making lots of money, having a high status and exercising power? That is what our culture tells us, but we all die in the end and none of us can take them with us. Maybe working long hours in a job that bores you senseless isn’t worth the cost.

This is existentialism’s greatest insight. Living a good life is not so much about achieving things, as engaging with the world; it’s not so much about showing off the trappings of success as living in accordance with your truest and deepest convictions, and allowing those convictions to change over time.

This is where the existentialists are counter-cultural. They don’t believe you have an essential self that is hidden deep within you and waiting to be discovered. Rather, you find yourself on the ‘stage’ of life, with the freedom to become whoever you want to be.

This is hard. It requires you to question the received wisdom around you, to embrace your individuality and freedom. Nothing is given, and each day is a chance to make new, courageous choices. It is also scary. It means you are totally responsible for who you are today and who you will be tomorrow. You can’t blame others. If your boss undermines you all the time, that is your present facticity, the stage on which you stand. How you respond to that fact, though, is your choice, and naturally this can lead to anxiety. Kierkegaard described anxiety as the ‘dizziness of freedom’: it is recognising the enormity of being free, and most of us run from it. We would rather ask others how we should think and how we should live, rather than embrace our autonomy.

In a nutshell, then, the existentialists tell us to embrace authenticity. They invite us to confront the uncertainties of living, and to refuse to accept passively what others tell us. They remind us that we are the authors of ourselves – our own creators – and we choose who we become.