David Mahoney: Thank you and a la perchoine

‘Fool me once, shame on you – fool me twice, shame on me.’ We would all do well to have those words ringing in our ears come 18 June, when votes are being cast.

We know now 82 candidates have submitted themselves for election and so again the electorate will face a ballot paper longer than any other jurisdiction. I believe this process of electing 38 members is unique. The whole district vs island-wide voting is a debate for another day and would fill an article all by itself, so we are where we are, and we need to live with it. Everyone has heard stories of how some picked candidates because ‘they looked nice’, so consider those photos carefully, candidates!

As we all know, this year Guernsey is celebrating 80 years of freedom and what an amazing show the island put on. Jersey must have looked on with envy. In all those 80 years there have been only 349 deputies and conseillers. To serve in the Assembly is a privilege afforded to few.

Every election is important but this one more so than many more recent elections. But why? In short, funding – don’t worry this isn’t going to turn into a tax package piece but the budget approved at the end of 2024 is not fully funded (it isn’t even close). The Assembly agreed to spend more in 2025 than it’s going to collect. The next Assembly must contain pragmatic members strong enough to confront some inconvenient truths.

Take a few moments to remember which deputies spent four years eight months blocking those trying to get things done. Remember who has been hiding in the shadows (some who have now miraculously emerged as the election looms) and remember who was bold and advocated what was best for the island even if it was unpopular.

I say these things for the good of Guernsey, its economy, and by association, its people.

Before I write anything else, I must highlight that to offer yourself up to public scrutiny and judgment is quite a thing. It is a considerable act of faith in yourself to file that candidacy form and submit to public opinion on your suitability, and so I applaud every single candidate for doing so, even though there will be many whose every policy I may wholeheartedly oppose. Fair play to you for standing up to be counted (although for some, I hope the counting of your votes doesn’t take very long!)

Those newbies will shortly find out how hard the job is, how frustrating it can be, and how slowly the wheels can turn. They’ll also find out what the darker side of social media looks like, and indeed for some that may be a case of reaping what they have sown.

On hearing that I was not standing, one vocal commentator messaged to provide an opinion that certainly couldn’t be printed here and was entirely inappropriate.

If they are elected, I wonder how they would cope with similar abuse. I’ll chalk it up to them being hard of thinking and move on.

We would all do well to remember that of the 100 billion people or so who have ever lived, we are in the highest fraction of a percentile possible in terms of good fortune.

And yet in this social media world it is easy to get sucked into a fake world of what others have and what is ‘normal’. The nature of humanity is that our desires are memetic. Human nature, nowadays at least, is that we get used to how good our lives are, how easy we have it in this lovely, safe place. We’ve had it good for so long that it becomes our average, and that can be a dangerous thing. It’s been described as life dysmorphia. By and large things have never been objectively better and yet paradoxically, subjectively worse. The more we have, the more we crave and therein lies the problem. Society always wants more but rarely wants to pay the price – which leads me back to the election.

For what my tuppence is worth.

Many are trying to pitch this election as a GST election and some may even bring a flag along to the upcoming hustings. Beware the snake oil salesmen of old offering a cure for everything in a single bottle, and beware those who come bearing gifts, and ask yourself why some very experienced politicians are now having some ideas just before an election. Trojan horse anyone?

Beware the other options or a replacement of the ‘fairer alternative’, or the ‘sweet FA’ option as it become known amongst the Assembly. Smoke and mirrors get you elected but solve none of the serious issues facing the island.

The world changes and places must change with it. Adapt or die, as they say.

I think if I was standing (which I am not) I would be tempted to include as one of my four booklet pages, perhaps a half page with a sudoku puzzle – to relieve the tedium of trawling through potentially 300 pages of sales pitch.

It’s easy being a politician when the books balance, when surpluses roll in year after year, but in politics, as in life, people’s true colours come out when things get hard; when tough unpopular decisions need to be made for the benefit of the many, not a few vocal lobby groups.

I saw an online comment a few weeks back bemoaning the number of ‘old white males’ in the Assembly. A good exercise when you see comments like this is to ask yourself what agenda is being pushed and what reaction there would be to change any of those labels to ‘young’, ‘black’, or ‘female’. Social media would rightly go wild. So, let’s not fall into the labels of what candidates are – surely Guernsey just wants whoever is best?

Don’t vote for 38 people if you don’t understand what those 38 people stand for and can do for the island – not you, the island. Being nice is great but can they make informed and sometimes hard unpopular decisions. One deputy this term admitted he had changed his mind on a certain topic because 14 people had emailed him. 14!

The system of government that has served the island well is now past its sell-by date. This is one of those inconvenient truths we sometimes come across. What we really need is a benevolent dictatorship – but they’re so tricky to find, aren’t they? I’m joking of course.

With a couple of working stints in other offshore islands I’ve been in Guernsey for 39 years, the first 34 in the private sector, and the last nigh-on five years in public service. Two very different lives when I look back.

Guernsey has been good to me, but I’d like to think I’ve been good to it too. So, as my wife and I prepare to leave Guernsey for the next chapter and its challenges and experiences, I’d like to say a heartfelt ‘thank you’ and raise a glass to everyone.

Thanks for having me over, and as Vinny Jones once said, ‘It’s been emotional’.

A la perchoine Guernsey… please choose wisely in June.